How To Get Out Of A Rut!
Personal achievement plays a big role in a mans hormonal status and feelings of self worth.
It's so important in fact that it simply cannot be ignored.
If this concept seems odd to you, let me tell you a story to demonstrate my point…
Let's take a random, every day kinda guy and place him in a room with 10 other men.
Let's call this hypothetical man of ours, Mr. Wonderful.
We'll say Mr. Wonderful is fairly intelligent and has a pretty good personality to boot.
We won't stop there though…let's go ahead and make him the best looking guy in the room as well.
But….we'll leave one very critical component out of our mans make up…
Achievement as in success, otherwise know as winning!
You see, our hypothetical man has been skating by on personality for years, and hasn't done much with his life.
He's not living on the street, but he's only four or five missed paychecks away from that scenario.
He's worked in several professions but has never mastered or dominated any one of them.
He's tried his hand at business too but melted and gave up the first time adversity stared him in the face.
But you wouldn't know any of this information if you saw him mingling with his new compadres.
At first glance, you may even assume he holds a dominant position in that room but you'd be dead wrong.Our dominant man goes by an entirely different name.
He isn't as handsome or gregarious as Mr. Wonderful, but he's got something else much more potent in his arsenal.
He's incorporated regular and consistent winning into his life, and is reaping the mental and physical rewards of this extremely potent habit.
Yup, Mr. Achievement has figured out that nothing in this world brings more personal power into a mans life than winning consistently.
He also understands that any passive leisure activity, (think watching TV) is fine in small doses, but NEVER in massive sized chunks.
And last but not least, he knows for a fact that he's most content when he places his focus on that big "THING" he's created in his life.
And by his "Focus" I mean, he engages in productive, self esteem building, hormone fueling activities…a large majority of the time.
But not our friend Mr. Wonderful!
He spends the vast majority of his life pursuing passive leisure.
He's got a well worn spot on his couch, and can manipulate that TV remote with both his eyes closed.
When he's not doing TV time, he's wasting his life away browsing the net, watching youtube videos, or jacking around on facebook.
And as a result, he's failed to achieve much of anything in his life…and he has the suppressed hormones and the low self esteem to prove it.
This explains why Mr. Wonderful is nowhere near the top of the totem pole in our hypothetical room.
He doesn't have the hormones OR the self esteem to get there.
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi the former head of the department of psychology at the University of Chicago, has spent decades studying this passive leisure, active pursuit topic.
One of his most potent study techniques was called the Experience Sampling Method, which involved taking a large group of people, and handing each of them pagers.
Then, over an extended period he'd page each individual several times a day and ask them one simple question.
How do you feel right now?
After responding, each individual took note of exactly what they were doing so Csíkszentmihályi could reference back and see what types of activities bring the most personal power into people's lives.
And you won't be too surprised to hear that productive activities made the top of the list.
Csíkszentmihályi eventually gave this whole concept a name, which he coined "Flow".
Flow can be described as that mental state you achieve when immersed in a challenging activity, that requires skill, provides immediate feedback, and clear metrics of failure or success.
Examples of flow activities would include learning to play guitar, taking up a new sport, or starting a new business.
One of the most important keys to achieving a flow state is the activity must be challenging, but not too challenging. (very important point).
In other words, a task that lays just beyond your skill set, that provides immediate feedback as to success or failure, is most likely to put you into that flow state.
You'll know when you've arrived when you find yourself so immersed in your activity that time either speeds up or slows down dramatically.
I guarantee you, you have experienced this at one time or another…
Think back to a period when you got so lost in a project that all of a sudden, 4 hours flew by in what felt like 4 minutes.
That would be flow!
A state where anxiety, sadness, and fear were all eliminated from your mind…where productivity climbed at the exact same rate of speed your self esteem did.
When you think back to these events, you have to admit, these are some of the most exhilarating moments of your life.
Especially when compared to a depressing marathon session spent in front of the television set or the computer.
So here's the main point I'm trying to make here…
With a little practice, you can place yourself into this exhilarating flow state for several hours each day.
And not just for the hormones and self esteem but for the quality of life; as once you perfect this, you will literally revolutionize the way you live, see and experience the world.
I got hit up several times after last weeks self esteem post with this…
"I don't have a "Thing" in my life, what should my thing be?"
My answer is, I can't tell you what your thing should be, you have to figure that out for yourself.
But I can offer up a suggestion…
Keep in mind, I'm extremely biased in this direction, as this is what I do to achieve my flow state...your mileage may vary.
I build websites on subjects that turn me on and I own several.
This site you're reading is my pride and joy, my baby, the one I'm truly passionate about.
But I have others that I built for the income...covering musical instruments, inflatable boats, swimming pools, etc.…
So, if I were back in the hormonal abyss and starting all over again, here is exactly what I'd do.
I'd set a goal to build an income producing, 100 page website, on a topic that turns me on, in 6 months or less.
Now THAT is a flow activity!
To make this happen I'd kill my TV, and for those 180 days, instead of watching I'd begin creating.
Creating and building something of value, that will pay me back in spades once those 180 days have expired.
This is the type of payback that you've been missing out on if you've been spending your precious time pursuing that lounge chair sitting in your living room.
Here's a thought...
Have you ever had an exhilarating moment while sitting in a lounge chair?
I sure haven't!
Remember…"Big Goal" type activities are what you need to keep on your horizon, at all times, if you want to begin living a life of flow.
Make this important transition yourself, and choose your "THING" wisely and you'll become absolutely consumed with your new project.
You'll know you're hooked when you spend every minute of your spare time going after your "THING", not because you have to but because you want to.
And this transition from passive to assertive will transform you instantly into a creator and a man who get's things done.
In other words, make the switch and you'll become an achiever, literally overnight!
This my friend, is where you'll find all the happiness, contentment, self esteem and personal power you could ever want.
So let me give you your very first goal…your first stab at achieving a flow state yourself.
Sometime today, I want you to do a serious brain storming session, and figure out what you're going to do in place of all the passive leisure you're going to eliminate from your life.
Make a list of subjects, activities, hobbies, business interests, people, places or things that turn you on, then highlight the one that fires you up the most.
Once the process is complete set the list aside for a moment, then lay back and evaluate your mental state.
Notice how positive you feel?
No fear, no depression, no feelings of low self worth or worries about your health or financial future.
Just plain old happiness and contentment, combined with supreme optimism about the future.
Doesn't that feel nice?
Sure it does…but I need to warn you about something before you get too excited…
Flow is a lot like making love to a woman.
It's great while you're at it, but as soon as the action stops, you're going to want some more.
Check that…you're going to NEED some more!
That's why we're going to go way beyond simple list making here….
Once that "THING" of yours has been clearly identified, we're going to make that 180 day commitment, we're going to execute it…make it happen.
UNLESS…you're entirely happy with your life, your feelings of self worth, social status, and levels of achievement, that is.
I make this qualifying statement because I'm certain that 100 percent of the men reading this aren't necessarily underachieving in this department.
But...based on the response to last weeks post, I'm also certain that a good many of you are.
And if you are, there's no question about it, you know it as fact!
If this describes you, read on…because you and I still have some business to take care of…
Back in the day when I was walking around with a testosterone level of 250, I never would have dreamed I'd be standing where I am right now.
I'd knocked it out of the park in my twenties and thirties and figured I'd already had my run.
You know, it was 40 and over the hill mode now…time to slow down, head out to pasture, lower my expectations and all.
But, I had these nagging things in the back of my mind that kept eating away at me…
I missed the sex, the feel of a tight t-shirt around a fit body….the verbal skills, the sense of humor, the drive, the optimism about the future.
I wasn't ready to give up on this stuff yet!
So I went to work on my body with a vengeance…diet, exercise, supplements, etc…
Things were looking much better, but I was still lacking something…I wasn't quite right yet.
Then, it hit me…my body had changed, but I was still walking around with the mind set of the old me.
I needed to go to work on my mental game!
Once I married these two critical components together (mind and body), that's when everything took off for me.
As I stand now, I have over three thousand pages of high quality content, spread out over the web on half a dozen websites.
All created in a highly potent state of flow!
I earn more income now than I ever did in my twenties and thirties, and I'm having more fun doing it.
All because I've learned that a hormonally fueled man, operating in flow is literally unstoppable.
Here's how I would break this math equation down…
Hormones x Flow = An Amazing Life
So here's your big question as you move forward from here…where are you going to find your flow?
I'm going to close this post out with some very important action steps.
Begin this process as soon as you have a moment of free time on your hands!
Fail on this and you'll never get started, so do them sometime in the next several hours.
Take the concept you came up with when you wrote out your list, then head over HERE and watch one or two of these short 20 Second Videos.
Once you've finished, ask yourself the following questions…
Did the info in the videos spark some creative ideas, some "flow" possibilities, some positive thoughts about what you're going to do next?
Excellent, now ask yourself this…
Doesn't this plan sound about one million times better than another year of Gilligan's Island re-runs?
Good, then act on it!
Step number 2 is, run your idea by a trained professional, to see if your concept will work in the real world.
You can do that RIGHT HERE, free of charge or any obligation, whatsoever.
I went through this exact same process myself and it can be extremely validating. Do not skip this step!
Once you get the green light, grab a hold of your new idea with both fists, and run with it.
And keep on running for 180 days…to change your world…to change your life!Do It Now!
A Longitudinal Exploration of Flow and Intrinsic Motivation
Flow: The psychology of optimal experienceThe Relationship Between Depression and Internet Addiction